I am surrounded by gloating grandparents! I listen attentively to their descriptions of 2 year old's potty contents and training; I give requested advice on language/ reading development; I admire photos of tousled , small heads. I may look stonyfaced as I internalise ENVY!
But I would never put pressure on daughters, nieces, friends or other relatives to produce. I don't presume on marriage as a ticket to the production of offspring; I do not look expectantly when someone announces they have 'good news'- a new job, promotion, or the buying of a house- all equally bring a celebratory beam to my face, the cracking open of fizz or three cheers.
After all, the couple may not be able to have children, may not want children, may not like children (who often these days create danger under waiters' feet or fetch a racket and indulgent grandparents into your chosen area of peaceful solitude); they may prefer to have a dog- or may be happy to have 0/1/2/3 or more children- or be willing to take what they are given- their business as to if, when and how many.
I put your Christmas extended family photos on my Wall with pleasure and look at them throughout the year with green eyes. In church or neighbourhood I talk to/ pick up/entertain your grandchildren with glee and speed! H1 looks at me with a benign smile- he knows my needs (& announces them on radio!) but like many men, he will take or leave grandchildren as their requirements may (but just a may)conflict with his golf or bridge.
Meanwhile I keep my mouth firmly closed and wait to see if and what the future holds.
My sun-filled garden and the planting of sea-holly awaits.......
No comments:
Post a Comment