Conversation of the Year

Me- 'Darling- while I am washing up , could you run the hoover round?'

H1- ' I'm not a hoover man'.

Did I hear you say that you bet that went down like a lead balloon? It was like a red rag to a bull actually..... Was I born wielding a Dyson or an iron??!!
Where did I go wrong? I have taught him to do all sorts of things incase anything happens to me- he irons a great shirt- and several years ago I stopped ironing his shirts altogether as God made him equal to me in skills and now in time. He now has certain staple meals he can make; only convinced that he CAN do cooking by my insistence that this was merely domestic SCIENCE (does the word science convince men of things being 'manly'?) and he should just regard cooking as a physics experiment- AND everyone is allowed to make mistakes.... but the answer is to learn from them.

I now realise I do all the heavy work eg the gardening- digging, planting etc- he mows the lawn- while Newcastle United are playing away and the match commentary is on the radio which is plugged into his ears while Asperger's stripes are carefully ruled across the grass.

I shall not even describe barbecues in which I slave away over a hot stove while watching him through the window- he in the sunshine and with can in hand, requesting I bring the oven cooked food out to get a cremation over the hot coals.

So much for my New Age Man.