Rubbish

Orange light peeking over the horizon. Black rooftops. Pink streaks silhouette a line of ridge-tile pigeons watching the sun come up with me. Gentle grey dusts across the everchanging celestial vista. The sky glows highlighting a vapour trail. A flight of birds move high above my heaven. The day begins with the soft coo of a ring collar dove.

I am awake. I hate arguments. I just leave them... walk away from the protagonist.... cut them out in order to get away from them- like dead wood. It is what I do- step away and isolate myself. I do not want to face them. I do not know how to handle them so I leave them. It looks cold but it is not- it is the reverse- they can leave me in a limbo of confusion. How do I face the meeting up?- usually pink with embarrassment- so at the rendezvous I always seem to do/say the wrong thing. People make up things to cover their backs when they recount to other people what has happened and I can not believe they have told fibs. Why bother? Is it SO important? I can't be bothered with working it out so I walk away. Ah! There is the sun staring at me now.

H1 and I have had a row! He has to win at everything.... and he has taken over my last refuge- my garden. He doesn't understand that gardens are a journey of discovery; you get it wrong- plants in the wrong place, soil, aspect; always changing and never the same. So I want the compost heap location changed! Big deal? Honest! How come a scientist shows an inability to cope with change? Surely their world of theory , hypothesis, experiment, research is everchanging? He does everything to the least possible...Does that go with the gender? If I was an employer I think I'd employ mainly women- they are particular..... So..... I have asked him not to put compost directly against the fence but to put a piece of ply between the grass cuttings and neighbours' (or our own) fences so they do not decompose with the warming heap(the fences not the neighbours!). This has proved a major source of inconvenience/irritation to H1 who (upon my request) did it eventually and once but asap has abandoned the idea and moved along the fence to dump again on unguarded perimeters. Such a big deal?! Can you believe it?